Hey doll face! Ya girl is back to impart some more feminine wisdom. Now, I understand that makeup is a daunting topic for a lot of girls. Hell, I’ve seen men that can paint their face better than I can, look at Manny MUA I’m not ashamed to say I feel a tiny bit depressed watching new girls on RuPaul’s Drag Race that can beat their face to filth, whilst I sit here like “Hi, nice to meet you I’m Thumb, but my friends call me Moon-face."
One of the biggest things when I started to take make up more seriously were the products, I didn't know where to start. There are so many different brands, variations, shades which makes it all so intimidating. Then you watch all these make up tutorials thinking, It’s all good this girl looks nice, she got my back, she gon’ explain all this complicated shit for me, everything gon’ be ite. Then she starts talking about Morphe 30000 complexion tan ultra-shock creme caramel that needs to be blended with ABH mocha light feathered translucent pigment powder. Um, what?
Snakey make up bitches, they're all the same...
It’s like those who are good at make up don’t want anyone else to be so they make it super difficult to A) understand what the hell they're talking about and B) use SUCH expensive products and A LOT of them, so us #regulargals can't get a look in on their turf.
Well let me say something to all the make up “chosen ones” out there, we're on to you.
I’ve put together a list of your basic makeup essentials so you don’t have to spend hours decoding what all these makeup artists are on about. You can cancel the date with your sugar daddy as you don't need one to buy these goodies, because not only are they super easy to get hold of, but affordable too. You can thank me later.
BENEFIT THEY'RE REAL MASCARA - £19
Alongside the blue eyeshadow and shimmery purple lipgloss, I reckon mascara was one of the first fossils found in every woman’s makeup bag. I have tried a heap of mascaras over the years and I have to say this is by far the best I’ve come across. Even with one coat you get a lot of lash volume and definition, way more than you would from your average mascara.
It offers buildable definition which in effect makes it questionable if you're wearing falsies or not. I have temporarily hung up my false lashes ( aka stuck them on random objects/ bedside tables which I’ve forgotten about for my boyfriend to find ) and switched over to this bad boy as it achieves the same bold lash look that falsies do. My fave.
NYX SOFT MATTE LIP CREAM - £5.50
This past summer matte lips have been trending massively. Personally I don’t think you can find a better value liquid lip than NXX’s lip cream. It is super long wear, and is very hydrating so it doesn’t crack or become “gritty” on your lips.
They have so many colours to play with which makes it super easy and affordable to do an ombre lip. NYX has recently become available at selected UK Boots stores so honey you best snap these babies up real quick.
MAYBELLINE NEW YORK BABY SKIN INSTANT PORE-ERASER LIGHTWEIGHT PRIMER - £7.99
From when I started wearing makeup until only a couple of years ago, I always used to think “eurgh primer what a waste of time, I need more time to fill in my nike tick style eyebrows." I didn’t think they were nike ticks at the time, but looking back they were pretty fucking graphic. ew.
Sure enough though I found out I have an oily ass face and I kind of need that primer shit. Because of this, without primer, foundation literally just slides off my face. Primer is like the super glue that keeps my face (and life) together. You cannot beat this primer for £7.99, legit for the price mark it is so good at minimising pores and matte-fying the skin.
And no joke, as the title suggests, it really does make your face feel like a baby’s arse.
KIKO SOFT FOCUS CONCEALER - £7.50
Wooowww. So this is probably my favourite product on this list. I’m not trying to be like one of those parents that has a favourite child or anything, like all my makeup babies are great and everything but this one has been pulling straight A’s since day dot.
As concealers go I think many of them have the same problem that they don’t blend out too well, and can appear cakey especially over foundation. Thats what makes this product so great. It blends into your foundation so well but also allows buildable coverage if you need it without it looking too much, ya feel?
It is my favourite thing to use to contour because the applicator is so neat and easy to use, you could cut a bitch with your cheek bones. Bible.
It also has this super cute button clicking feature which ensures you end up with the perfect amount of product every time. It’s also amazingly satisfying to press when you're pissed off like “oh Jennifer you better know I’m coming for you *click* I know I did not just see you liking my boo’s pics on Instagram *click* *click* *click* you better know I’m coming for you right after I carve out these cheekbones *clickclickclickclickclick*.
COLLECTION EYES UNCOVERED NUDE PALETTE - £3.99
I only found out about this product recently on a Youtube video and I’m so glad I did. An american beauty Youtuber KathleenLights said that this pallet is an exact (yep exact) duplicate of the Urban Decay Naked Palette. So I tried it and wow… like wow. It is SO pigmented, so creamy and so blend-able. It is the perfect palette for those not so confident in makeup for a natural / smokey look.
At the minute there are up to five palette shade varieties and all are £3.99. wot. So brb while I go out and buy my weight in eyeshadow before everyone else cottons on.
BOOTS 3 IN 1 BLENDING SPONGE - £3.50
Remember when everyone in Year 9 had that adorable foundation line under their chin because we all didn’t know how to blend? cute, right? Nope.
This little sponge of joy kisses your foundation perfectly into your face, neck and chin with no god awful lines!
It has that beautiful air brush finish that is so hard to achieve with foundation brushes or fingers, plus its an absolute steal at £3.50.
BAREMINERALS COMPLEXION RESCUE TINTED HYDRATING GEL CREAM - £27
As foundations go I constantly toy between full coverage and BB creams so bareMinerals’ foundation was a perfect in-between.
It offers buildable coverage which is perfect if you just want a thin bum-about-the-house-but-still-look-hot kind of look or full coverage fish.
It works for all skin types and is really hydrating which is a great alternative from harsher chemical full foundations. I LIKE.
MAYBELLINE BABY LIPS LIP BALM - £2.99
Shout out to the cheapest product on the list!
Don’t doubt it though, I carry this lip balm around with me EVERYWHERE. It is mad hydrating and makes the perfect base for any lipstick or gloss.
Plus if you're going for a really natural look then this provides a subtle moisturised / glossed finish which looks amazing.
Super kissable lips ALL the time.
MAYBELLINE MASTER PRECISE LIQUID EYELINER - £5,99
Eyeliner is something that definitely gets better the more you practice. Have you ever been in the situation where you do the perfect wing on one eye, then go to the next but accidentally take it a bit thicker. Then you try to compensate by making the other one fatter, ending up with eye liner like 2cm thick.
Yup me too.
Well I promise you, this is the easiest eyeliner to ensure that doesn’t happen. Because the applicator is so much like a felt tip and glides on the same, It’s a familiar technique which results in fewer eyeliner casualties. The eyeliner is also very long wearing and holds a lot of pigment over eyeshadows.
RIMMEL PROFESSIONAL EYEBROW PENCIL - £2.99
We all know that eyebrows are the window to the soul, so obviously you need the best and most affordable product to maintain them.
I started out using Rimmel’s eyebrow pencil and it is by far the easiest eyebrow applicator I have used. It is super soft and draws on very easily. You can create more or less shading / darkness by changing the amount of pressure you apply. Plus you get a little eyebrow brush on the lid to neaten your brows before you start drawing.
This product is perfect for all y’all new to creating fierce as brows. P.s the KIKO concealer and this eyebrow pencil are soul mates. Applying a few brush strokes of the concealer under the brows cleans them up SO good.
I have tried my best to cut the technical shit and confusing makeup jargon to keep it real with you. So now I have given you the tools to create your facial masterpieces, go out and slay my queens!