Okay, I'd like to start things off with a disclaimer. I do not endorse attempting to use Grindr, Tinder, Growlr etc as a way of finding true love. I'm just stupid. The first time I encountered the world of dating apps I was about 18, and shocked to find there were so many eligible bachelors around me.
Of course, these eligible bachelors would greet me with a picture of their penis. An aggressive yet surely effective approach, considering how often it happened. Although it never worked on me... Four years filled with romantic disappointment later, and I still have three of those heinous apps on my phone. There have been success stories, but they always ended the same way. I'm going to leave it at that. I suppose the real point I'm trying to make, is how stupid the men on these apps seem to be. "MansMan84" messaged me last week, sending a picture of a headless body with a - ugh - flaccid penis. They're ugly at the best of times. Please. I ignored the first message, and he continued to (pardon the pun) poke me approximately 12 times with messages ranging from "wanna hang out?" to "wanna play you sexy man."
In case you can't feel it through the screen, I'm cringing.
Another gem, CowboyBottom, said "save a horse, ride a cowboy." I don't even know what to say about that one, besides that I liked his cowboy hat. However, that is not a trait I'm looking for in my #lifepartner. Despite the sea of masc4masc and no fats, no femmes I am wading through, I shall persist. Good things come to those who wait, and I have most certainly paid my dues on that front.
Whilst I wait, I'll just keep wasting the silly boys' time until my dream boat comes along.